


Figure You Out

by hopingforaword



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Christmas, Figuring shit out, First Time, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Internalized Homophobia, James is a real character, M/M, Pets, Rabbits, Remus is a Good Boyfriend, Swearing, Underage Drinking, Walking In On Someone, my poor werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:13:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopingforaword/pseuds/hopingforaword
Summary: Remus Lupin knew he didn’t fit in. It didn’t matter that he’d been at Hogwarts for three years and that his friends knew about his condition. It didn’t matter that James and Sirius had sent him letters all summer about how their Animagi experiment was going. None of that mattered, and none of it would matter, because his friends would figure him out.





	1. Leanne Burke

Remus Lupin knew he didn’t fit in. It didn’t matter that he’d been at Hogwarts for four years and that his friends knew about his condition. It didn’t matter that James and Sirius had sent him letters all summer. None of that mattered, and none of it would matter, because his friends would figure him out.

The four friends had only managed to find time to hang out over the summer once. Remus, James, and Peter had all turned fifteen, and Sirius would be sixteen in November. They had started talking about Quidditch and classes and whether or not Filch had finally retired, but James steered the conversation in an all-too-familiar direction.

“Speaking of Potions,” James said, casually picking at the grass in his backyard, and the three other boys groaned.

“She doesn’t want to go out with you James,” Remus said, falling back onto the grass and looking up at the sky.

“Moony’s right,” Sirius said, and James’s frown deepened. “Lily Evans is going to marry Severus Snape and they’re going to live happily ever after. Stop obsessing James. It’s not like there aren’t other girls.”

“Like who?” James said, clearly unconvinced that anyone could live up to the great Lily Evans.

Sirius shrugged. “Angelica Greengrass, Stephanie Abbott, Megan Macmillan, Sophie Crouch, Leanne Burke–”

“Okay when I asked I didn’t want you to list every girl whose name you know Sirius,” James laughed, punching Sirius playfully. Something in Remus’s stomach tightened, but he chose to ignore it. “Leanne Burke? Really?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I have it on good authority that she’s a good kisser.”

James raised an eyebrow back. “Really? She’s one of those pureblood supremacists.” Sirius laughed and Remus and Peter exchanged a look of confusion.

“You don’t have to agree with someone’s politics to snog them James.” The bottom of Remus’s stomach dropped out as he sat bolt upright. Sirius and _Leanne_. His head felt like it was exploding.

“You snogged _Leanne Burke_?” Remus sounded shocked.

Sirius and James both looked at him with their eyebrows raised. “It’s just snogging Remus. Calm down,” Sirius said.

“Yeah,” James laughed, “It’s not like you’ve never snogged anyone.”

Remus looked away, glancing at his watch. “I have to go.” He stood up and walked towards James’s house.

“Are you alright Remus?” Sirius asked, getting to his feet.

“Fine, I’m fine! I just have to help my dad with some stuff around the house. Bye.” Remus disappeared into the house and stepped into the fireplace.

When he stepped out of the fireplace in his living room, Remus ran up to his bedroom and collapsed on his mattress, crying.

 

That had been almost a month ago. It was the beginning of their fifth year, and the four friends had piled into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, laughing and joking as the train pulled out of the station.

“So,” James said, “You never did finish telling us the Leanne Burke story Sirius.”

Sirius looked at Remus out of the corner of his eye. The paler boy was sitting rod straight, staring at a point just over James’s shoulder. Sirius was tempted to put his arms around Remus and make him relax, but he didn’t think his friend would like that just then. So instead Sirius shrugged and said, “There isn’t really a story. She and some of her friends were hanging out with my brother, she came up to my room looking for a bathroom and,” he shrugged, “it just… happened.”

James laughed. “Wished Evans would just wander into my room.”

Peter looked at James, eyes wide. “Did you see her haircut?”

James’s eyes widened. “No! When did you see her hair?”

“She was on the platform near me and I saw–”

James stood abruptly. “Let’s go Peter.” He opened the door of the compartment and stepped into the corridor while Peter scrambled to his feet.

“Where are we going?”

“To find Evans so I can assess her new hair. You two coming?”

Sirius laughed. “No, mate, because I’m guessing we’ll get a full description from you anyway.”

James rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Remus?” Remus shook his head, and James let the door to the compartment shut before rushing off with Peter.

Sirius turned to face Remus. “Re, are you okay?”

Remus nodded.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Remus said with a forced smile. “Are you going to meet up with Leanne again?”

“I don’t think so. I’m not really interested in her.” He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, and Remus wanted desperately for his fingers to replace Sirius’s. “I’d be surprised if she was interested in me anyway.”

“I wouldn’t,” Remus blurted out. Turning bright red and looking out the window he muttered, “I mean, all the girls say that you’re really attractive so even if she didn’t like you maybe she… I don’t know, wants whatever it is girls want.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Whatever it is girls want?” Remus nodded and Sirius thought. “Remus, you got all jumpy this summer when James said something about you snogging people, right?” Remus nodded, his skin flushing brighter. “Have you?”

Remus squeaked, “No.”

Sirius laughed before he caught sight of the horrified expression on Remus’s face. “No, it’s not you Remus, it’s just… Is that why you’ve been all weird? Peter hasn’t snogged anyone either. Besides,” he playfully punched Remus’s shoulder. “It’s not like anyone’s good enough for you anyway.”

Remus smiled, but Sirius’s words reverberated in his skull through the entire train ride and the sorting and the feast and even as he made his way up the stairs to his dorm and collapsed on his bed. He tried, really tried, not to think about his best friend and his stupid handsome smile and his stupid beautiful body and how his best friend was interested in _girls_ , not skinny pale werewolf boys. He really tried.

He went to sleep wondering if he’d ever be truly happy around his friends again.


	2. Animagi

The following two weeks were normal. James and Sirius would tease Peter during class and had already served a detention each. Remus was working hard in all his classes, hoping for perfect scores on his OWLs. Sirius and James laughed, knowing that Remus was definitely going to get all Outstandings. They teased him about working too hard, but Remus shrugged it off.

The second Saturday of term James didn't have Quidditch practice, so he and Sirius convinced Remus to go for a walk around the grounds with them and Peter. Remus had been more reclusive lately (James kept trying to make lone wolf jokes that just made Remus stare him down) and his friends were worried about him. Remus wondered if Sirius had told James what he'd admitted on the Hogwarts Express, and he wondered what his friends would say if they knew exactly who Remus was interested in snogging. He was too worried about both things to relax around his friends, but they refused to let up about the walk. So Remus begrudgingly agreed to walk around the grounds with them.

When they reached the Quidditch pitch Sirius looked around. None of the teams were practicing and no one was messing around in the air. He smiled at James, who smirked back. Remus looked warily between the two of them. Anything that made James smirk like that was sure to get them in trouble. “What’s going on?”

“Don't worry Moons, we just have something to show you.” James nodded at Sirius, who looked deep in thought until he no longer looked like Sirius at all. In Sirius’s place was a large black dog. A minute later, Sirius had returned. Remus looked over at James to ask what the hell was going on, but where James had stood was a young male deer, antlers just coming in. He glanced at Peter to see if maybe he was just going mad, but where Peter had once stood a little gray rat sat in the grass.

“What the hell?” Remus looked back at Sirius and James, who were thankfully human again and smirking.

“It's your start of term present. We worked all last term and all summer on it,” James explained. Remus still looked thoroughly nonplussed.

“Now we can hang out with you during the full moon mate,” Sirius said, and James nodded.  

“Yeah,” Peter squeaked. “I can stop the tree long enough for Sirius and James to sneak in the tunnel, and they're large enough that they can keep you in check.”

“Yeah. Now can we go back to the castle? I'm starving.” James turned and started walking towards the school, Peter following immediately behind. Sirius turned to leave, but Remus grabbed his shoulder.

“This was your idea, wasn't it? It's got that Sirius blend of mischief and caring.”

Sirius blushed, something Remus had never seen before. “James is mischievous too.”

“But he doesn't care like you do.”

Sirius half-smiled. Remus didn't know quite how much Sirius cared. “Just keep this in mind at my birthday Moony.” He clapped him on the back and led him up to the castle.

 

Life had seemed to settle back to normal. Whatever had been bothering Remus at the start of term had seemed to lift a little off his shoulders. He joined in on teasing James and Peter whenever they did something exceptionally dumb.

It was just after lunch one Sunday, and the three friends were sitting around the lake, enjoying the end of September as real work started to set in and summer rapidly vanished. James turned to Sirius, a glint in his eye that only boded danger. “So, you know what happens in two months?”

Sirius groaned. “James, it’s just my birth–”

James leapt to his feet and looked as though he was going to fly away. “IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY! YOU’RE GOING TO BE SIXTEEN!”

Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged the same look they always did when James got overzealous about something of little consequence. “James, I have a birthday every year.”

“Yeah, but you only turn sixteen once,” James whined.

“You only turn any age once,” Peter pointed out.

“My point exactly!”

“James, I don’t even want anything. Well, there’s one thing…”

James grabbed Sirius’s shoulders. “What is it? Tell me!” Sirius flushed and shook his head. “Sirius! You. Have. To. Tell. Me.” He punctuated each word by shaking Sirius, but Sirius just shook his head defiantly. Realization grew in James’s eyes. “It’s a girl.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Sirius saw Remus deflate and tried to steer the conversation away from this touchy subject. Clearly, something about girls and Sirius made Remus uncomfortable, and Sirius wanted his best friend to be happy. “It’s not a girl, but that doesn’t matter. What are we doing for Halloween?” Remus seemed to shrink even more and Sirius wanted to slap himself.

This time, James had noticed too. “What’s wrong Remus?”

He sighed. “There’s only one thing I’ll be doing this Halloween.”

Looking confused, Peter squeaked, “What do you mean?”

James and Sirius looked at Remus, silently asking permission. Remus nodded, and the other two boy started howling in a disturbingly good imitation of real wolves. Peter frowned, having figured it out but knowing that asking James and Sirius to stop would just encourage them. Remus smiled before he said, “Alright, knock it off!” Both boys fell quiet. “So, if we can’t do something Halloween, what about the night before?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “It’s not like the Firewhiskey won’t taste the same on the 30th.”

Peter and Remus spluttered. “Firewhiskey?”

James grinned. “I brought some from home. Thought it would be a good way to start this year. We’re fifteen after all.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “You say fifteen the way most people say seventeen.”

“So you’ll be joining us Remus?” Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. “Better than Veritaserum. It’s also a pretty good taste.” The other three gaped at him. “What?”

“You, goody-two-shoes Remus ‘I only break the rules for you guys’ Lupin, have had Firewhiskey?” James asked.

Remus looked from one shocked face to another and shrugged. “Makes me feel better. Soothes the pain after particularly bad nights.”

James shook his head in disbelief. “Remus is drinking Firewhiskey, Sirius is kissing girls,” Remus and Sirius both squirmed a little when James said that, “You and me gotta find something to do Peter.”

Peter started at being addressed directly before he said, “We could change spell all the Slytherin goblets so they fill with Jell-O instead of drinks.”

James clapped Peter on the back. “And who said Peter never has good ideas?” Before anyone could respond, he plowed on, “So Firewhiskey and Never Have I Ever? Or Truth or Dare?”

“Truth or Dare,” Remus and Sirius said in unison. They both knew Never Have I Ever would consist of James saying random sex things none of them had done, Peter blushing, and Sirius eventually just taking shots whenever James said something particularly stupid.

“Moony?” James said, “Do you want us to try hanging out with you this full moon?”

Remus considered before he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I’d like that.”

“Great!” James clapped, standing up and brushing himself off. “It’s going to be a good year gentlemen.” He turned and walked off towards the castle, the other three following closely behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you that the next chapter will contain Boys Talking About Feelings™. I cannot, however, guarantee when this chapter will be published. But it will be as soon as I am confident in it


	3. Truth

October passed as calmly as it ever did for James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. James, Sirius, and Peter served between three and twelve detentions each, and Remus went through his first full moon of the school year. Usually the day after a full moon Remus would stay up in their dorms and have his work brought to him, but this year he came down to breakfast the next day and sat next to Sirius, leaning his head on Sirius’s shoulder. If any of them thought Remus’s behavior was strange, no one said anything.

October had been a little tense. Sirius and Remus had both been treading lightly, wary of making each other upset. Remus spent a little more time studying alone and Sirius didn’t feel up for going into Hogsmeade on the first weekend they were allowed. On both occasions, James had looked at Peter and shrugged. He privately hoped that they weren’t growing apart. How awkward it would be for him to be best friends with two people who weren’t friends with each other.

October 30th was the first Quidditch game of the year, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. Thanks to the graduation of the Ravenclaw Keeper and their inability to find a truly suitable replacement, Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw 270 to 40. The celebratory party had listed until nine, at which point the older kids had gone off to their dorms to celebrate alone, and the prefects had told the younger kids to go up to their rooms. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter were left sitting in the common room. James stood up and winked, before running the stairs up to their room. His footsteps returned a few seconds later, and when he came into sight Remus saw that he was clutching a bottle of Firewhiskey and four shot glasses. James sat down on the floor and Remus moved off the couch so he was sitting in the circle on the floor. James poured a shot for each of them. “Drink up boys.”

Remus looked at Sirius, who nodded, and threw his shot down his throat. The burning was familiar and Sirius smiled at him, but one look at James and Peter had them burst into laughter.

James and Peter had clearly never had Firewhiskey. Peter was holding his throat as if afraid it would fall off if he let go, and James was coughing violently. “Well, that’s not as great as I thought it would be,” James spluttered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Prongs,” Sirius laughed.

“Yeah,” Remus said, always ready to make fun of James, “I feel great.”

James shot them a look. “Shut up. Anyway, if you’re feeling so great, why don’t you go first Moony?”

“Fine,” Remus shot back. “Peter.” The boy in question started, as if he expected his friends had forgotten about his presence. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Peter squeaked.

“If you had to have sex with one of the heads of house, who would it be?”

Peter shuddered. Professor Sprout, Professor McGonagall, Professor Slughorn, or Professor Flitwick. Sirius laughed at Peter’s thinking face.

“I would think it’s an easy choice for Peter.”

James laughed. “Yeah, who would you pick?”

“You’ll just have to ask me, won’t you Jamie?”

“Bullshit, you always pick dare.”

Sirius flashed a grin. “Predictable as always.”

“Peter! Answer.”

“Fine!” Peter was flushing and looked down at his lap. “Sprout.” The other three nodded. They hadn’t expected any other answer from him. “Uh, Sirius.”

“Dare, my good man,” he said, ruffling his hair. James rolled his eyes.

“Turn into Padfoot and lick James.”

Sirius smirked wildly before he turned into the big black dog and licked James’s face. Remus turned away. He knew it was just a stupid dare and Sirius wasn’t even in his human form, but it still hurt. He blinked and turned around, and his stupidly gorgeous best friend was sitting next to him again. James was making a show of wiping dog slobber off his face, but Sirius was watching Remus.

“Truth or dare little wolf?”

Remus swallowed. “Dare.”

Sirius cocked his head and looked at Remus and said, “Kiss me.”

Somewhere behind them, Peter spluttered. “But–you’re both boys! And–”

“Who cares? It’s just a dare,” James said, “Right Remus?”

Remus took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Right,” he said, before he leaned forward to reach Sirius. Sirius leaned forward to and their lips brushed. Remus held his lips against Sirius’s for a few seconds before pulling his head back. He looked away from Sirius, determined not to look at his irritatingly attractive friend.

“Boo!” James called through cupped hands. When Sirius and Remus both looked confused, James said, “Come off it, that was barely a kiss. I’ve had arguments with McGonagall that were more passionate than that. Again boys.”

Remus looked at him like he had two heads. “Again?”

James stared defiantly back at him. “Yes. And if you don’t want to do it a _third_ time, I’d recommend you make this one better.”

Remus shot a glance at Sirius, who looked completely fine with this turn of events. Some unbidden part of his head whispered _You’ll never get to do this again anyway. Might as well._ Remus shrugged and leaned forward, tangling his fingers into Sirius’s hair and pushing his mouth open. Sirius slowly pushed his tongue into Remus’s mouth and Remus barely contained a moan. Remus’s fingers started to slip down Sirius’s head, but he released Sirius quickly when he felt his heartbeat speeding up.

James wolf-whistled. “Nice.” He looked over at Peter, who had fallen asleep between his protestations and the second kiss. “I’ll take Peter up. You guys coming?”

Remus shook his head. “Just want to get a little more work done. Full moon tomorrow and all.”

James nodded and gestured to Sirius. Sirius nodded and stood up, reaching the bottom of the stairs when James sounded like he was nearing their dormitory door. He put one foot on a step before turning around to face Remus.

“Are you okay Remus?”

Remus nodded. “I’m fine. Just working, I said. Go get some sleep Padfoot.”

Never having been good with taking orders, Sirius stepped closer to Remus. “Look, just tell me what you’re thinking. You’ve been so stressed this year and I’m worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” Remus slammed his book shut. “That’s rich from the boy who’s been emotionally manipulating me all year.”

“Emotionally manipulating you?”

“Are you clueless or are you an asshole? You’ve been making me admit I’ve never kissed anyone and then making me kiss you and spending any free second talking about how great it was to hook up with Leanne Burke!”

Sirius had remained calm until then. “How many times do I have to tell you Remus? I don’t give a shit about Leanne Burke. She literally just came up to my room and started snogging me. What did I do wrong?”

“It wasn’t me.” Remus’s voice cracked on the last word, and only then did Sirius notice how watery his eyes looked.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Remus turned to gather his books up. “Let’s just pretend–”

Sirius put a hand on his arm and spun him around. He smiled before leaning in to kiss him. Remus, clearly shocked, let him for a minute before he pushed back hard.

“This is what I’m talking about! You can’t just snog me every time I feel like shit Sirius. You don’t get to just tease me like this.”

“Who said I’m teasing?” Sirius said softly.

Remus looked at him blankly. “What?”

“I dared you to kiss me because I thought it would be the only way I would ever get to, not because I was trying to mess with your head.” He took a step closer. “I really like you Remus. Like, a crazy amount. So much it scares me.” Sirius shook his head. “If I thought I even had a chance, I wouldn’t have asked you to kiss me.”

Remus looked up at him, a funny look in his eyes. “Why don’t you ask me?”

Sirius took a deep breath. “Remus–”

Remus jumped at him, lips colliding messily as he pulled Sirius close to him. Sirius kissed back hard, pushing his tongue into Remus’s mouth and wrapping his arms tight around Remus’s waist. Remus pulled back and set his forehead against Sirius. “I don’t want to tell anyone. Not yet, maybe not ever.”

Sirius nodded. “As long as we keep doing this, that’s fine with me.”

“Bedtime?” Remus yawned. Sirius nodded and with a flourish picked Remus up in a bridal carry. “Oooh, my own personal knight in shining armor.”

Sirius laughed. “I don’t know about shining armor.” He walked up the stairs and reached the fifth year boys dormitory. Before he went in he asked, “My bed or yours?”

Remus smiled. “I want to snuggle you all night Padfoot.”

Sirius pushed the door open with his foot and gently put Remus down on his bed. Remus quietly took off his shoes, sweater, and slacks, leaving him in just his boxers and his undershirt. “Well?” he whispered, burrowing under the covers, “Are you just going to stand there all night?”

Sirius laughed quietly before undoing his shirt and shoes and slipping out of his slacks. He climbed in next to Remus, very aware of how thin his boxers were. Remus pulled Sirius tight to him, so his bare chest was pressed against Remus’s back.

“Rem, are you sure you want to sleep like this? What if–”

“We’re both fifteen years old so I wouldn’t at all be surprised if our bodies responded in the usual way to this proximity. However, since I like you for both your insanity and your gorgeousness, I will not be at all disturbed by it. Now go to sleep.” Remus closed his eyes and pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of Sirius’s arm.

Using all the self control he had not to laugh at how eloquently Remus had said, “I don’t care if you get a boner,” Sirius pressed a kiss to the back of Remus’s neck and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised Boys Kissing™ and the Feelings Talk™, and I believe I did both. I have some ideas for where it's going next (involving birthdays and valentines and christmas break), but no idea how to get to the first one so it'll be a little while before the next chapter
> 
> also the rating might go up so be on the lookout for that


	4. Talk

Remus woke up slowly the next morning. He moved to stretch his back and his hand collided with something soft.

“Ow,” Sirius whispered into Remus’s neck, “That was my face Re.”

Remus turned over. “Here, let me make it better.” He covered Sirius’s face with short kisses. “Better?”

Sirius smiled wide. “Much. But speaking of we need to talk about,” he gestured vaguely between the two of them, “this.”

Remus looked around the quiet dorm. It was around six thirty and all their roommates were asleep. He still looked wary. “Yeah, but not here.”

“Room of Requirement?”

Remus nodded. “Let’s get dressed first in case we have to go down to breakfast.”

Silently they slid out of Sirius’s bed and got dressed in their school robes. They walked to the hallway that contained the Room of Requirement and paced back and forth, waiting for the room to appear. It did, and they went in.

The room was not as large as it often was when Remus and Sirius went in with James and Peter. In the middle of the room was a large cushy sofa that both boys sat on, not looking at each other.

“Well,” Sirius said expectantly.

“Well?” Remus asked, “Well what?”

“‘Well,’ we’ve been friends since first year and last night we snogged three times and admitted we liked each other so I have no idea where we stand now.”

Remus shifted in his place. Quietly he said, “I can’t tell people Sirius. I’m already so… different. I can’t deal with people knowing.”

Sirius put his hand on Remus’s forearm. “I know Remus. But what does that mean for us?”

Remus looked at him and smiled. “I like cuddling and talking and laughing with you. And,” he blushed red, “I really liked snogging you last night. So can we… can we keep doing that?”

Sirius smiled. “Yeah. Of course.”

“That’s good. I’m not sure about,” Remus gestured vaguely with his hands, “other things, but we can cross that bridge when we get there.”

“Agreed,” Sirius said. He shifted so he was next to Remus on the couch, legs pressing into each other. “We won’t do anything until both of us are ready for it.” Remus nodded and Sirius threw an arm around his shoulders. “And you know what’s great about Hogwarts?”

“A lot of things, but what are you thinking of?”

“The very room we sit in now. If someday we need to get away from James to snog or do something more, we can come here. Hide from the world, hold each other…” Sirius smiled at Remus.

“Snog?” Remus asked, smirking, and Sirius leaned in. They snogged tentatively, testing the waters to try and figure each other out. Sirius was pleasantly surprised to discover that once he coaxed Remus out of his shell, Remus was very dominating. He bit at Sirius’s lips, shoved his tongue in Sirius’s mouth, and slowly but surely crowded into Sirius’s space until Sirius’s back was pressed against the seat of the couch they were sitting on. Slightly breathless, Sirius pulled back.

“Whoa, boy,” he laughed at Remus, but his smile fell when Remus looked downcast, “What’s wrong?”

Remus sat back on his heels, playing with his hands between his knees. “I let it get the best of me.”

“It?” Remus shot Sirius a dark look, and Sirius understood. He pulled himself up so he was kneeling facing Remus. “Remus, I enjoyed that.” Remus shot him a questioning look and Sirius nodded vehemently. “I did. I know it can't be easy to try to control it all the time, especially the night before a full moon. So if this is a way for you to let it out, I don’t mind.”

Remus half-smiled. “What if it isn’t just the wolf?”

Sirius grinned. “So much the better.” He pulled Remus around so he was leaning against the arm of the couch and Remus was leaning on his chest. “I really like you Remus.”

“I really like you too, Sirius. And I’m sorry that of all nights we had to figure this out the night before a full moon.”

“It’s fine, Rem. I can come visit you in the hospital tomorrow, and me and James and Peter will try to make it out to the Shack tonight, but knowing Peter, no promises, okay?”

Remus nodded. They sat in silence, leaning on each other, until the sounds of students heading down to breakfast could be faintly heard through the walls of the Room of Requirement. Remus sighed and checked his watch. “Seven forty-five. James and Peter will be down at breakfast in ten minutes.”

“Will it be weird if we’re there before them?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t think so. We can just say we felt restless and went for a walk. I always wake up early the day before, and you don’t always sleep like a baby, so they won’t care.” Remus stood up and looked at Sirius. “Well?”

With a groan, Sirius stood up. He reluctantly followed Remus out of the Room of Requirement, focusing on how the sunlight streaming through the castle windows illuminated the gold sections of Remus’s hair as they descended towards the dining hall. As they walked, he cataloged places that, with the right warning charms set up, would be great spots to snog Remus.

When they reached breakfast, Remus sat as close to Sirius as he could, and opened his mouth to say something before James and Peter arrived, James looking as James always did and Peter looking out of breath and harried. James slammed his hands down on the table. “Where have you been? Peter and I were looking all over.”

“When we finish the map you won’t have to look all over,” Sirius said, realizing as he spoke how much the map they were working on could negatively impact the amount of time he could spend with Remus.

“Anyway,” Remus said, “I got restless this morning, what with the day it is, and Sirius offered to walk with me around the grounds.”

James huffed as he and Peter sat down. “I would’ve enjoyed to go for a walk.”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. James wasn’t known to enjoy walks in general, and much less the kind of walk Remus and Sirius had actually gone on that morning.

“Can we study for Transfiguration today?” Peter asked, “We’ve got that exam Tuesday.”

“Sure, Peter, we can study. Although I’m not sure how much these two will want to study.”

James brandished his forkful of eggs at Remus. “Hey! I am the best studier. Oh, and you’ve got an eyelash on your cheek, dude.”

“I’ll get it,” Sirius said, instantly turning to wipe the eyelash off. His finger lingered and he and Remus stared at each other for too long, but neither James nor Peter seemed to notice, each preoccupied with his breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter wasn't good/long i was having some issues getting this part rolling but the next part should be easier and better :)  
> Chapter 5 will be released on Sunday September 17 by 6 pm EST


	5. Snowball

A loud bang woke Sirius with a start. He grabbed his wand off his bedside table and brandished it at the foot of his bed until he saw his three best friends grinning at him. Sirius collapsed back onto his pillows, wand clattering on the side table as he grabbed a pillow and threw it at James. “You suck, Prongs.”

“How do you know it was me?” James grinned unapologetically, deflecting the pillow with one arm.

“Who else would wake someone on their sixteenth birthday with a Firecracker Alarm?”

“SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY!” James shouted, “You’re sixteen, you arrogant git.”

“Me? Arrogant? I'm not the one who thinks Evans should date me because I’d greatly improve her life.”

“You're the one who said, and I quote, ‘Anyone in this damn castle would be lucky to snog me,’” James laughed.

“Yeah, because unlike you I won't snog anyone with breasts who sits still long enough,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

James opened his mouth but Remus cut him off. “As wonderful as this argument is to listen to, why don't you open your presents, Padfoot?”

Sirius grinned as Peter put a present in his lap. “It’s not much,” Peter said, scratching the back of his head as Sirius unwrapped the gift, “But I thought you might like to have them to piss off your mum or whatever.” Sirius threw the paper aside and looked at a stack of Muggle magazines. He flipped through gleefully as the other three marauders watched. Some were filled with pictures of gleaming motorcycles, others were plastered with revealing photos of Muggle girls. Sirius looked up at Peter, his evil grin stretching across his whole face.

“This is excellent, Peter. My mum’s gonna hate this. Guess I’ve gotta practice my permanent sticking charm.” He flipped to a page showing two Muggle girls, each in a bikini, sitting on a motorcycle and smiling into the camera. “I think I’ll start with this one.”

James laughed. “If you stick it to the top of your bed, you could get a lot of personal use out of it, too, mate.” He laughed again, Sirius and Peter joining it, but Remus regarded Sirius with scrutiny. He had never thought about it before, but Remus suddenly realized that he didn’t know if Remus liked just boys or girls too. Not that he minded other way. Maybe Sirius didn’t know himself. It’d be a good question to ask. Remus filed that thought away for stolen moments in the Room of Requirement as James plopped down two presents on Sirius’s lap.

“So one’s practical and one’s a different kind of practical,” he said, smiling from his seat on the edge of the bed. Sirius raised an eyebrow, Peter scooched down the bed, and Remus half-laughed to himself as Sirius opened the smaller package.

“A knife?” Sirius held the inconspicuous weapon in his hand. “I suppose this is practical.”

“It’s a special knife,” James said, “It unlocks things. Almost any magical lock, this knife can undo it.”

Remus whistled and Peter whispered, “Shit.”

Sirius looked from the knife to James and let out an excited whoop. “Damn, Potter, didn’t know you could get this kind of shit.”

James smiled. “I’m good at secrets. And everyone’s gotta have a sketchy friend with strange connections. I can be that friend for you. Now open the other one.”

Sirius tore into the second package and laughed at the box. “Flourish and Blotts? I’m not Moony, Prongs.”

“Open it,” James said, smiling.

Sirius tore off the paper and held up a black hardcover book. Remus read the silver block letters and his heart fell.

“The Other Charm: Using Wit, Smiles, and Confidence to Win Over Witches,” Peter read aloud. Sirius was bent over laughing, and all three of his friends were looking at him, eyebrows raised. When he caught his breath, Sirius sat up, smiling wildly.

“James got me a present for himself.” James looked affronted as Remus and Peter joined in Sirius’s laughter.

“What are you talking about?”

“Thanks for thinking of me, James, but I promise I can use my own wit, smiles, and confidence to win over whoever I want.”

“That doesn’t mean I–”

“Hey! Don’t I get to give you my present?” Remus looked at Sirius, who smiled much more shyly than he usually did around his three best friends.

“Yeah, Moony, what’d you get me?”

“Close your eyes.” Sirius raised an eyebrow before shutting his eyes. Remus summoned a cage from under his bed and set it in Sirius’s lap. “You can open them.”

Sirius opened them and looked into the cage. “A white ball of fur?”

“No.” Sirius, Peter, and James watched as Remus opened the cage, picked up the ball of fur, and stroked it until eyes blinked open and long ears pricked up.

“A bunny?” Sirius’s eyes widened and he reached for the rabbit, which Remus placed in his hands. Sirius looked at it. “What’s its name?”

“You can name her whatever you want.”

The Marauders watched Sirius look at the ball of white fur until he whispered, “Snowball.”

“You're going to keep a _rabbit_ in our dorm?” Peter asked.

“Aw, don't worry Wormy, you're still my favorite rodent.”

Checking his watch, Remus said, “We should get to breakfast if we want to eat before class.” Sirius rolled out of bed, handing Snowball to Remus before getting dressed. Remus picked up his bag and set Snowball back in her cage, but Sirius scooped her back out.

“We can't leave her here!”

“Mate, she's a bunny. We can't exactly take her to class,” James said.

“We can't get caught taking her to class,” Sirius replied, smiling wickedly. He reached over his own head and put Snowball in the hood of his robe before picking up his bag. “Shall we?”

 

The Marauders made it through their first three classes, History of Magic, Charms, and Potions, without Snowball being discovered. During Transfiguration, their last class before lunch, Remus saw Snowball start to wiggle in Sirius’s hood, but before he could warn his friends, Snowball had moved onto Sirius’s shoulder.

“Mr. Black,” Professor McGonagall said, interrupting her lecture, “What is on your shoulder?”

Sirius looked at his shoulder. “Oh, that's Snowball.”

“My classroom is not a farm, Mr. Black. From now on, please leave Snowball in your dormitory. Next time I will deduct points from Gryffindor. Now, as I was explaining before the appearance of our unexpected guest…”

“Nice job,” Remus whispered while he scribbled down notes.

“Maybe you should’ve picked out a more well-behaved rabbit,” Sirius shot over his shoulder.

Remus grinned. “But what would the two of you have in common if I had?”

 

“I’m going to go drop Snowball off in the dorm,” Sirius told James as they walked out of Transfiguration, “Save me a seat at lunch?”

“Of course, c’mon Peter, Remus.”

“I forgot my Arithmancy book. I’ll head up with Sirius to grab it.” James and Peter nodded before disappearing down the stairs. Sirius and Remus walked along in silence until they reached their dormitory. Sirius carefully placed Snowball into her cage before he walked slowly over to Remus and pulled him into a ferocious kiss.

“So I take it you like Snowball?” Remus said, pulling away from Sirius’s mouth, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend.

“How’d you even get her?”

“Wrote to my dad and told him to find the fluffiest non-cat animal he could, he sent me a description of Snowball, and I just thought she was perfect.”

“Why an animal?”

“I know that you get lonely, especially at home for the summer, so I figured a small animal would be good. Company, you know? Plus she’ll remind you of me.”

Sirius smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever had better luck than when I let you sit in the carriage with me and James on the way to Hogwarts.”

“Shut up,” Remus said, but he was smiling. “C’mon, or James’ll think we got abducted by Peeves.” He summoned his Arithmancy book off his desk and Sirius arched an eyebrow at him. “What? I don’t lie.”

Sirius kissed Remus quickly before leading him out of their dormitory and down to lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be out on November 15th


	6. Christmas

Fifth year continued, and the four marauders continued to cause mischief around Hogwarts. (One particularly fantastic stunt involving the Christmas trees, glitter, and the Slytherin common room landed Peter and James in Sunday detentions for a month.) Christmas drew ever nearer, and with it came a panic for Sirius. Christmas presents between the marauders were always extravagant. Sometimes they were funny, like the photo frame Remus had given James with the words, “Don’t mess up, you arrogant toerag,” engraved in Lily’s handwriting around a picture of her, but sometimes they were sweet, like the set of pain relief and healing potions Peter had given Remus, along with a box of Remus’s favorite chocolates. But now there was extra pressure. Whenever they had the chance, particularly Sundays when the other two were in detention, Remus and Sirius had snuck away from their friends to sit in the Room of Requirement and talk (or snog). It had been a glorious month and a half, but now Sirius had to find something great to give Remus.

During History of Magic a week before the holidays began, Sirius leaned over to James. “What’re you getting Moony for Christmas?”

James looked shocked. “You haven’t gotten him something yet?”

“I’m stuck.”

“Did you get me something?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yes, I got you a house elf that will follow Evans around and recite poetry about your eyes until she goes out with you. Can you focus, Prongs? I need to get something for Moony.”

“I got him a new set of quills, but half of them are Sugar Quills.”

Sirius huffed. “I have no idea what he wants.”

“Why not just ask?”

Remus turned around from his seat in the front, clearly on the pretense of stretching, but smiled at Sirius before settling back into his note taking. “Because I want to surprise him. Snowball was an amazing present, and I want my present for Christmas to be even better. I’m glad your mum let us all stay at your house over the hols. Shame Wormy’s gotta go home, but the three of us can have some great fun, I bet.”

James nodded, writing down something about the goblin wars that Sirius would have to study later. He took the rest of that class to stare at Remus and scribble ideas for Moony’s Christmas present.

 

The Christmas holidays came more quickly than any of the Marauders expected. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter piled into a carriage on the Hogwarts Express, chatting animatedly about their plans for the break.

“Bad luck that your mum won’t let you come to mine, Peter,” James said, frowning slightly at the small boy, “We’re gonna have a blast.”

Peter sighed. “She’s always been uptight and you knew that. Still, we’re fifteen. She wants me home.”

“Whatever,” James sighed, “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Going to try and find Evans again, Prongs?” Sirius asked playfully as James stood up.

James winked and pulled Peter out of the carriage with him. “Absolutely.” The door to the compartment slid shut and Sirius grinned at Remus.

“What do you want to do now that they’re gone?”

Remus groaned quietly. “I feel sorta sick.”

Sirius pulled Remus’s hair off his face, and looked into his eyes. “You’re not warm, but you seem a little green. Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll wake you when we’re ten minutes away.”

Remus planted a gentle kiss on Sirius’s cheek before leaning against the window and closing his eyes. Sirius smiled, watching his boyfriend fall asleep.

 

The next four days at the Potters’ house was incredibly hectic, with all three boys running around and causing very different kinds of mayhem, from making snowmen outside that sang and danced to charming every one of Mrs. Potter’s slippers to ring like bells as she went down the stairs. The Potters were very good-natured, and simply laughed at the boys’ “harmless goofing around.” Suddenly, it was Christmas Eve, and James, Remus, and Sirius had all laid down in James’s room for the night. Sirius was on the brink of sleep, when a warm hand shook him. “Meet me in James’s bathroom in two minutes,” Remus whispered into his ear. Sirius grinned and followed.

When he stepped into James’s bathroom, Sirius was immediately pulled chest to chest with Remus.

“Merry Christmas, Sirius,” Remus whispered, looking directly at him.

“Merry is right,” Sirius said, leaning in to kiss Remus. Remus twisted his fingers in Sirius’s hair and pulled, making Sirius’s mouth fall open in a groan. Remus pulled Sirius in tighter, their bodies flush against each other. Sirius made a noise halfway between a groan and a growl. “Don't start anything you don't intend to finish Remus,” Sirius whispered threateningly.

“Who said I don't intend to finish?” Remus whispered, one eyebrow raised. He ground himself against Sirius, forcing a moan from the taller boy. “Or at least intend for you to finish.”

“Remus,” Sirius gasped, as fingers carefully slipped under the edge of his shirt, stroking the warm skin of his stomach, “you don't—”

“Shhh…” Remus whispered into his neck, running his fingers up Sirius's skin. “It's your first Christmas present.” His fingers trailed down to Sirius’s belt and he unfastened it slowly. “Are you okay babe?” Sirius nodded, hands tight in Remus’s hair as Remus sucked on his neck. “Are you sure?” Sirius nodded again, a small noise coming from the back of his throat as Remus undid his fly. He pulled Sirius’s pants down and grabbed his bulge through his boxers. Sirius practically squealed. Remus laughed, low and rough. “Someone's eager.” He pushed Sirius’s boxers down. “But so am I,” he whispered before he sank to his knees.

“Shit Re,” Sirius whispered. “You gotta—fuck.” His head tipped back as Remus took him suddenly into his mouth. “You gotta warn me when you're going to do stuff like this Remus. I mean—shit.”

“That kind of ruins the spontaneity, doesn't it?” Remus said, sitting back on his heels. “Now, may I continue?” Sirius nodded and Remus smiled devilishly before leaning forward.

Sirius was surprised at the sheer skill Remus possessed. He groaned as Remus leaned forward again, swirling his tongue around the head of Sirius’s cock. Sirius tangled his fingers in Remus’s hair and tugged gently. Remus groaned around Sirius, the vibrations making Sirius moan louder.

“Quiet,” Remus said, pulling back and looking up at Sirius, “Unless you want to wake James.” Sirius groaned at that and looked down at Remus, who had a mischievous glint in his eye.

“You like this, don’t you? You like being in control, even when you’re the one on your knees.”

Remus winked back up at him. “Sue me.”

Sirius groaned at that, feeling a tightening in his body. “Fuck, Remus, I’m gonna–” He came with an exhale, leaning against the tile wall. After he fixed his pants, Sirius pulled Remus to his feet and looked him in the eye. “How'd you get so good at that?”

Remus shrugged. “Natural talent? I have to be good at something.”

Sirius frowned. “Remus, you're good at so many things. Including, apparently, giving blow jobs. Not your only skill,” he kissed Remus gently, “But a good one.”

Remus smiled. “Merry Christmas, Sirius.” He redid Sirius’s fly and they walked to the bedroom quietly. They changed into pajamas and Remus was about to climb into his bed.

“Where are you going?”

“Sleep?”

Sirius shook his head. “It's Christmas and for Christmas, you're sleeping in my bed.”

Remus smiled, head cocked to one side. “Someone's a diva.”

Sirius pulled Remus into him. “Well, yeah.” He leaned forward for a kiss, but Remus turned away. “Re?”

“Not here,” Remus whispered into his chest.

“James is asleep. Not that he’d care.”

“I know Sirius just… please don't.”

Sirius smiled. “Anything for you. Now come cuddle with me.” Sirius burrowed under his covers and Remus crawled next to him, his back pressed into Sirius’s chest. “What do you want me to say if he wakes up?”

“Nightmares. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Me or you?”

“I don't care Sirius. Now shut up. I don't think, ‘I was up late talking to my boyfriend,’ is a viable excuse for falling asleep during a snowball fight.”

Ignoring that Remus had finally said _boyfriend_ , Sirius said, “We've been doing more than talking Re.” Remus elbowed him hard. “Okay, I get it. Sleep well little wolf.”

He nuzzled Remus’s head and fell asleep quickly.

 

“CHRISTMAS!” James yelled, starting both Remus and Sirius from a deep sleep. “OPEN YOUR PRESENTS YOU BUGGERS!”

“James,” Remus croaked, “It’s early. Quiet down some, please.”

“Here!” He thrust a box into Remus’s arms and a different one into Sirius’s. “Open them!”

Remus tore open the paper to find a mahogany box holding six beautiful eagle quills and six sugar quills. “Brilliant, Prongs. I’ve been needing new quills.”

“Score!” Sirius shouted, “Muggle temporary tattoos? My mum’ll hate these! I love them.” Sirius whooped and high-fived James, and turned to see Remus handing him a small box and handing James a slightly larger one.

“A broom maintenance kit? Nice, Moony.”

Sirius held up the red collar. “A collar?”

“For Snowball,” Remus said, “Look.” He took it and turned over the tag. “‘Snowball, care of Sirius Black. Please return.’ Because if she’s anything like her owner, she’ll get lost.”

Sirius grinned. “I love it. My turn.” He reached under his bed and pulled out two packages. James ripped his open.

“Nice, _Quidditch Through the Ages_!”

Remus turned to Sirius. “I love the sweater, Sirius, but what is this?” He held up a slip of parchment that said, “Good for three books and an ice cream. Sirius Black.” Sirius blushed.

“Well, I wanted to get you books, but I didn’t want to get you books you already had. So I’ll take you to Diagon, and you can pick out some books and we can go to Fortescue’s and get ice cream.” Sirius smiled tentatively, and Remus grinned.

“I love it.”

Sirius grinned back until James hit him in the face with a pillow, beginning a full-on pillow war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter seven December 24th (an early present!!)


	7. Losing It

The marauders had been back at school for three and a half weeks, and Sirius and Remus were losing their minds. They had no longer had enough time alone: Hogwarts bathrooms weren’t private, and neither were dorms. They had tried once to stay up later than the other two, but James had simply needled them with questions about Lily until Remus had given up and gone to bed in a huff. So when James and Peter told them about a party the four of them were invited to, Remus saw an opportunity.

“I’d love to go, but I’ve been feeling under the weather. I’m going to stay in, drink some tea, probably turn in early.”

James slapped Remus on the back and turned his hopeful face to Sirius. “What about you, mate?”

“A party?” Sirius arched an eyebrow mischievously. He caught Remus’s eye, and looked confused when Remus shook his head slightly, but nevertheless turned back to James and said, “I’m a week behind in Charms, so I should stay in and get Remus to help me.”

James looked crestfallen, but quickly regained his smile as he turned to Peter. “Well, at least me and Pete will be able to meet all the cute girls.”

On their way out of the hall, Sirius whispered to Remus, “What was that about?”

“I have better plans for Saturday night.”

“Like?”

“Well,” Remus whispered, “Our entire dorm is going to be empty, so I figured we could do something, just you and me.” He tried to keep walking with James and Peter, but Sirius pulled him out of the walkway.

“What kind of something?” Sirius said, almost sternly.

“The kind that involves your prick and my arse. Get it, or do I have to draw you a picture?”

Sirius opened his mouth for a retort, but Remus had already started walking towards class, leaving Sirius with a marvelous view of the arse in question. And _boy_ was it a fantastic one.

 

“They’re all gone,” Remus said, settling down in the middle of Sirius’s bed, spelled to a Queen size.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, trying to disguise his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“They won’t be back from that party for at least two hours.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to say anything other than yeah?”

Sirius let out a breath. “Sorry. I’m just… I’m scared Remus.”

Renys reached a hand out and stroked Sirius’s leg. “It’s going to be great. We’ve done things before, and they’ve been great. Plus,” he pulled Sirius’s gaze to him, “I _really_ want to.”

Sirius looked at his boyfriend and smiled. “So do I.” He took Remus’s hand. “You’re really not nervous?”

Remus looked at his hands. “Of course I am. We’ve never––either of us––and you’re going to be inside me and,” he cleared his throat and stared at the bed sheets, face flushing, “you’re, you know, pretty big.”

Sirius smiled. “We’ll go slow. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. And next time we can switch.” He was quiet for a second. “Remus, I…” He swallowed, “I love you.”

“I love you too Sirius.” Remus turned his head and kissed Sirius gently. Sirius leaned forward, wrapping his hands around Remus’s neck. He pushed Remus back gently, his head hitting the mountain of pillows they had stacked on the bed. Sirius moved slowly to sit across Remus’s hips.

“Okay?” he whispered.

“Great,” Remus said back. “Should we shut the curtains?”

“Not yet, I think,” Sirius said. He kissed Remus again, moving down his jaw to his neck and fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. “This was your damn idea, you knew we were going to do this,” Sirius accused, “so why did you wear a fucking button up?”

Remus laughed. “I thought it would annoy you. Also, button ups are more fun to take off.”

“I disagree,” Sirius said, “I think you tossing my shirt quickly off me will be more fun.”

“Well let’s find out.” Remus reached up and yanked Sirius’s t-shirt over his head. Then Sirius undid the last buttons on Remus’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders.

“You’re right,” they said simultaneously. Both started laughing. Remus stopped laughing abruptly when Sirius closed his mouth around one of Remus’s nipples.

“Shit,” Remus gasped.

“Language Remus,” Sirius teased. “Is that the kind of talk befitting a prefect?”

“Oh shove it,” Remus whispered, “If anyone knows _anything_ about what’s happening right now, I’d be censured. Maybe removed.”

Sirius sat back suddenly. “You think they wouldn’t want you to be a prefect if they knew you liked blokes?”

“No, but if Dumbledore knew we were having sex in our dorm room I don’t think he’d be very inclined to leave me in charge of little kids.”

“Speaking of having sex…” Sirius began, but instead of finishing his thought, he slid his hands onto Remus’s upper thighs and fiddled with his waistband.

“Don’t tease, Sirius.”

Sirius laughed but complied, undoing Remus’s pants and sliding them off before sitting up and removing his own. Playfully, he threw off his socks and slowly tugged off Remus’s before climbing back over Remus. Sirius kissed his boyfriend gently and whispered, “Curtains now, I think.”

Remus grinned and reached for his wand, spelling the curtains shut and shoving his wand between the mattress and the bed frame. When Remus lied back down, Sirius rolled their hips together and grinned when Remus moaned. “Someone’s having fun.”

“Can––you––stop––teasing––and–––fuck me–––for real?” Remus said through his panting.

“But I think I want to kiss every inch of your body,” Sirius said innocently.

Remus groaned. “Oh, fuck you.” He grabbed Sirius’s neck and brought them nose to nose. “Please. Fuck. Me.”

“Okay Moony,” Sirius laughed. “But you have to let me go.”

Remus released Sirius, who immediately pushed off his own boxers before pulling off Remus’s. Sirius’s eyes darkened and he licked his lips subtly. “Remus,” he gasped, his voice low, “I could see you naked every day and never ever get enough.”

“Sweet,” Remus mumbled, “You too, you know. You’re good looking I mean. Even your dick.”

Sirius smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Spend a lot of time thinking about my dick, do you Remus?”

Remus fixed him with a cold stare and said, “Yes, like right now I’m thinking about how useless it’s being, just standing there and not making anyone feel anything at all.”

“You want me to fuck you?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’d be nice, I suppose.”

Sirius laughed and kissed Remus. “You have lube?” Remus nodded and grabbed his wand, which he used to summon a bottle of lube from his bedside table. Remus set his wand gently down on the table, and looked up at Sirius. “Hand me a pillow?” Remus pulled a pillow out from behind his head and gave it to Sirius. “Now lift your hips.” Remus did, and Sirius slipped the pillow underneath Remus. “This might be cold.” Sirius’s lube covered finger circled Remus’s hole before pushing in gently.

“W-weird,” Remus gasped, “Not bad, just… weird.” He gasped as the tip of Sirius’s finger brushed over a sweet spot inside him.

“Again?” Sirius asked, pulling his fingers out. Remus nodded vigorously, and Sirius pushed two fingers into his squirming boyfriend. He found the spot again, and Remus arched off the bed as Sirius rubbed it.

“Fuck, Sirius, fuck!”

“That’s the goal, Moony,” Sirius laughed to himself as he pushed his fingers apart, trying to stretch Remus. “Are you alright?”

“It’s a weird feeling, Pads, but if it means you get to fuck me, it’s fantastic.” He took a minute to breathe, before asking, “Do you think you could now?”

Sirius spread his fingers in Remus, thinking. “Not sure. We could try?” Remus nodded, and Sirius grabbed his cock, lining himself up against Remus’s opening. He pushed forward gently and missed.

“Shit!” he exclaimed as he fell on top of Remus.

“You missed a little bit,” Remus laughed.

“It’s not funny, Remus.”

“It’s pretty funny, Sirius. What, did you think our first time was going to be flawless? We’re two horny teenage boys, of course it was going to be fucked up. We just have to try again. Here, I have an idea. Get on your back.”

Sirius laid down, and Remus straddled him. He kissed Sirius, and then slowly pushed himself back on Sirius’s dick. It was slow going, with lots of snogging breaks, but eventually Remus was seated against Sirius’s hips.

“Should we flip back?” Remus whispered.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, before he did as he said and flipped them over. “I’ve gotta warn you, this isn’t going to be great. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

Remus laughed, “Believe me, me too. I think I’m going to blow it the second you start moving.”

Sirius slowly started thrusting, and Remus felt a fresh wave of pleasure. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and groaned.

“Fuck, Remus,” Sirius said, “Fuck, you’re so beautiful and amazing and kind and smart and sexy and––fuck, I’m coming.” Sirius stilled for a moment, and Remus took in how beautiful Sirius really was. Sirius pulled out gently and flopped down next to Remus. “That was amazing.” He slid his eyes down Remus’s form. “Shit, you haven’t come yet. Sorry, Remus.”

“It’s fine,” Remus laughed, “You’re gorgeous when you’re orgasming, Padfoot.”

“You want me to suck you off?”

“Please,” Remus said. Sirius flipped on top of his boyfriend and kissed from Remus’s lips to the head of his dick. Trying to recall what Remus had done at Christmas, Sirius licked up Remus’s shaft before kissing back down to the base. “Fuck, Sirius,” Remus whispered. When Sirius engulfed the head of Remus’s dick in his mouth, Remus came with a shout. Sirius laid down next to him and held his hand, smiling. They laid still in silence for a few minutes, before Remus said, “We should probably get cleaned up.”

Sirius cast a Scourgify, and Remus returned the lube to his side table drawer. They both dressed, and Sirius’s bed was returned to its usual size. “That was brilliant,” Remus whispered against Sirius’s lips, “But I think we should sleep in our own beds.”

“Agreed,” Sirius said, kissing Remus passionately. “I meant what I said, Moony. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sirius,” Remus said, grinning, “Now get to bed, or James will never believe that we stayed here studying and reading.”

Sirius got into bed and turned the lights off. Remus curled under his own covers and fell asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated it all to reflect my realization that this entire fic works better if they're fifteen/sixteen than fourteen/fifteen. new chapter on february 24


	8. James

“Good job in the game today,” Remus whispered to Sirius as they stood in the crowded common room, “I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

“Oh, you flatter me Mr. Lupin,” Sirius said, smiling, “We all know James won us the game.”

“Which means he’ll be celebrating down here with the rest of the house for hours,” Remus said, smiling, “Which means that the dormitory will be empty.” 

Sirius’s eyes gleamed and he rubbed his lips together. “So what are you suggesting?”

“A private party of sorts for the second best Chaser on the Gryffindor team.”

“Well no one sane could turn that down,” Sirius said, grinning, “Should we make excuses or just slip away?”

“If we talk then they’ll notice we’re gone,” Remus said, “Let’s just go.” He took off in long, measured strides, ascending the staircase to their dormitory with Sirius right on his heels. He pulled Sirius inside and shut the door, slamming Sirius against the wall and kissing him roughly, pulling at the hem of Sirius’s shirt.

“Someone’s not wasting time,” Sirius laughed as Remus sucked on his collarbone.

“Fuck, Sirius, you have no idea how sexy you are playing Quidditch, do you?” Remus breathed into his neck, “It took everything not to leave the game and wait up here for you.”

“Yeah?” Sirius teased, “What would you have done while you waited?”

“I would’ve wanked myself sore,” Remus whispered, pulling Sirius’s shirt over his head and kicking off his shoes, “just thinking about you in your Quidditch leathers.”

Sirius groaned, kicking off his own shoes. “Whoever taught you to dirty talk needs an award.” He gasped as Remus bit his earlobe. “Or a cash prize.” Remus picked Sirius up and walked over to Sirius’s bed, placing him down gently before climbing up onto the mattress.

“Shit Remus,” Sirius whispered as Remus straddled his hips.

“You act like we’ve never done this before.”

“Well, not like this.”

Remus straightened up slightly. “What do you mean?”

Sirius looked quizzical. “Like, the other times you were the one on your back and I was fucking you.”

“Oh.” Remus thought for a second. “Do you want to switch to that?”

“Do you?”

Remus sat still, staring down at his beautiful, shirtless boyfriend and grinned. He leaned forward and whispered in Sirius’s ear, “I’d really like to fuck you.” Sirius visibly shivered and Remus grinned wider. “Do you want that Sirius?”

“Yes.”

 

James opened the door to his dormitory, laughing over his shoulder before peering into his room. He had come up to grab a bottle of Firewhiskey he had smuggled in, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw movement from Sirius’s bed. He smiled to himself at the thought of his antsy best friend finally getting some action and quietly lit his wand so he could see his trunk. The wandlight illuminated the bed next to him slightly, revealing Remus kissing Sirius as his hips moved rhythmically. James dropped his wand with a clatter and laughed exasperatedly, saying, “I thought Sirius would be a top.”

In an instant Remus buried his head in the pillow next to Sirius and Sirius yanked the sheet over them. For good measure, Remus reached for his wand and spelled the curtains shut. James, facing the other direction, stared at the door resolutely. “I can give you five minutes? And then we can talk about this?”

Sirius smiled up at Remus and said, “Ten.”

Remus laughed. “Twenty?”

Sirius smirked and said, “Thirty for good measure.”

James hit the post of his bed in frustration. “I’m trying to give you time to finish, not go a second round! Jesus H, what did I do to deserve this? Ten,” he walked out, thoroughly disgruntled and mumbling something that sounded like heathens.

Sirius sighed and put his hand on his forehead. “Well, not the best way James could’ve found out.”

Remus collapsed on the mattress next to him. “I think it’s safe to say all three of us are scarred now.” He ran his fingers through Sirius’s hair. “And no offense, Pads, but I’m not really in the mood to fuck you while James waits in the common room for us to come downstairs.” Remus kissed Sirius’s forehead. “Next time.” He stood up and got dressed, and Sirius followed him.

James was waiting for them at the bottom of the staircase. “Common room’s too crowded. We should go to a classroom.” He walked quickly through the still revelling Gryffindors out the portrait hole, both of his friends following him. He quickly found a classroom and ushered Sirius and Remus in, locking the door behind them. “So,” James said slowly, “You two were shagging. Are shagging?”

Remus shook his head. “We’re dating.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” James asked, looking accusatorily from Sirius to Remus.

“We weren’t sure how you’d react, mate,” Sirius said, “Two blokes dating isn’t exactly common, and a lot of people think it’s unnatural.”

James tilted his head. “What could be more natural than love? The two of you have had this… chemistry since the day you met.” He smiled at both of them. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

Remus smiled and Sirius grinned. “Thanks, James.”

“Just one question. How many times have you shagged in the dorms?”

“That was the second time,” Sirius said.

“And last,” Remus quickly added. When Sirius looked at him, shocked, he took Sirius’s hand and whispered, “There are other places we can shag, Padfoot.”

“You should get that embroidered on a pillow,” James snorted, “We need some ground rules. No ditching me and Peter for each other, no sex in my bed, no loud sex, no cutesy nicknames, no involving me in any fights and no hurting each other.” Sirius and Remus nodded. “Well, we have a party to get back to!”

“I’m going to bed,” Remus said, and at James’s raised eyebrow added, “To sleep. I’m tired.” He yawned and unlocked the door, walking back towards Gryffindor Tower. James and Sirius followed behind him.

“Hey, Jamie, listen, it uh… means a lot to me that you… I mean…” James hugged Sirius.

“I love you, Sirius. In a brother way.” James released Sirius and Sirius smiled at him.

“I’m going to head up to bed.”

James raised an eyebrow. “Remus said he was going to sleep.”

Sirius flushed and whispered, “I want to cuddle him until he falls asleep.”

“So this thing between the two of you is serious?”

Sirius scratched his neck. “I’m not sure. But I want it to be.” 

James clapped Sirius on the back. Well, what are you waiting for? Go cuddle your boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a line that I wrote in the planning for this chapter that sums up James's feelings: “I love you both and I’m glad you’re happy, but honestly, I never need to see either of your dicks in each other ever again,” James Potter, 1976.  
> next chapter March 28


	9. Teasing

Sirius was supposed to be studying for Charms, but when Peter and James had gone down to the pitch for practice, leaving the two of them alone in their room, Sirius knew there was no chance of his getting any studying done. He absently watched Remus read until Remus finally sighed and looked up at him.

“You’re supposed to be studying, Pads.”

“I know, but I can’t focus.”

“Why not?” Remus asked, setting down his book with a dry smile. 

“Because you’re sitting there looking so fuckable and I’m so horny, Remus,” Sirius whined. Remus laughed and walked over to him.

“We promised James we wouldn’t fuck in the dormitory anymore.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Remus straddled Sirius’s lap and pushed him backwards, grinding into his hips as he captured his mouth. Sirius groaned and Remus snuck one hand underneath him, grabbing his ass gently. Remus pulled away from Sirius’s mouth, sucking on his neck. He moved his hand from Sirius’s neck to Sirius’s crotch and squeezed gently, loosing a moan from Sirius. Even through their school trousers, Sirius’s erection was obvious. Remus grinned when he heard footsteps on the stairs and jumped off Sirius’s bed, running to his own, grabbing a book, and leaning against his pillows. 

“You’re such a tease,” Sirius called angrily after him, spelling his curtains shut as the door opened. James looked questioningly between Sirius’s drawn curtains and Remus smirking into the book he was reading.

“He wasn’t feeling very well,” Remus said, trying to control his face, “He was moaning and groaning before, so I suggested he deal with it privately before going to sleep.”

Inside the curtains, Sirius cursed Remus under his breath. The silencing charm he had put on his curtains didn’t stop him from being able to hear Remus’s teasing words. He wrapped a hand around his erection and groaned loudly at the contact. He heard James, Peter, and Kingsley settle into bed and then Remus said, “I’ll check on him.” Before Sirius could move, Remus had opened the curtains and stuck his head through. “You look like you’re feeling better.” 

Sirius nodded, trying his best not to moan. Remus grinned wildly and whispered in Sirius’s ear, “I have half a mind to stay and watch you.” Sirius whined sharply. “But James would get suspicious, so just imagine I were here watching you. Maybe next time you should study when the others are here so when we’re alone we can… do other things.” He kissed Sirius’s forehead. “Goodnight Sirius.” Remus shut the curtains and climbed into his bed, smiling at the knowledge that Sirius was thinking about him.

 

The next morning, Remus, James, and Peter went down to breakfast without Sirius. They were chatting about their upcoming Charms exam and whether or not Flitwick would be likely to give partial credit on the theory section when Sirius sauntered in and leaned over the table, facing James and Peter.

“Any chance you two can find something to do tonight that involves not being in our dormitory?”

James raised his eyebrows and Peter asked, “Why?”

“Because I want to get busy with Remus.” Remus blushed as red as his tie and suddenly became enraptured by the piece of toast on his plate. Peter choked on his tea and James blinked very rapidly. Sirius grinned. “So is that a yes? Because I’d like to make plans.”

“Plans?” Peter squeaked. James facepalmed and Remus managed to blush even redder.

“Yeah, well, more like decisions. Do I want to get fucked by Remus’s monster cock, or do I want to fuck him?” Sirius dropped his voice to a conspiratory whisper, and Remus was mortified when James and Peter leaned in. “He has the most fuckable ass on Earth. He’s still tight like a virgin.”

Remus grabbed Sirius’s tie and pulled Sirius face-to-face with him. “I need to talk to you. Now.” He dropped Sirius’s tie, stood up, and marched off towards the bathroom, Sirius following him. Remus charmed the door lock before turning to Sirius. “What the FUCK was that?” He pushed Sirius up against the wall. “Why were you  _ trying _ to embarrass me in front of James and Peter? Were you trying to make me angry?” Sirius blushed furiously and wouldn’t meet Remus’s eyes. Remus’s eyes softened and his grip on Sirius relaxed. “You wanted to make me angry?”

Sirius nodded very slightly. “A little angry, and a little revenge for last night.”

“So you want me to be rough with you?” Sirius nodded, and Remus grinned. “How much time do we have until Charms?”

Twenty minutes later Sirius and Remus strolled into Charms as the bell was ringing, hair tousled and Sirius’s neck marred with one large hickey. “Nice hickey, Padfoot,” James laughed as Sirius sat down.

Sirius turned around and smiled. “You’re just jealous.” He turned back to the front and began taking notes.

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me on [my main tumblr](hopingforaword.tumblr.com) OR on my [Harry Potter side blog](hermionejeangranger.tumblr.com)
> 
> Also, if you really like my work you can "buy me a coffee" [here](http://ko-fi.com/hopingforaword). I'm heading into college next year (and college is notoriously expensive), so having any amount of spending money is good, plus supporting artists is cool.


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